


whoever you are, holding me now in hand

by Spitfire007



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Millicent the hologram, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Venom AU!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-06 03:37:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16380641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spitfire007/pseuds/Spitfire007
Summary: General Hux knew that there would be several surprises that came with taking command of Starkiller Base. However, learning that Kylo Ren was the symbiote of Ben Solo was the last thing that he expected.





	whoever you are, holding me now in hand

**Author's Note:**

> Whoever you are, holding me now in hand,  
> Without one thing, all will be useless,  
> I give you fair warning, before you attempt me further,  
> I am not what you supposed, but far different. 
> 
> Who is he that would become my follower?  
> Who would sign himself a candidate for my affections?  
> ~ Walt Whitman

 

Most First Order officers spent their required recreational time with company, liquor, or anything else that would numb the brain. Of course, if you asked anyone, General Armitage Hux was nothing like the other officers. Namely, he had to be all but threatened to take his leave, unlike the others who try to take their leave early. Since Hux had been awarded leadership of Starkiller Base over a standard month ago and he had barely slept or ate since he had stepped foot on its icy surface. The General was solely focused on honing it to be the perfect weapon that he had envisioned upon first hearing of the Order's mining operation here.

However, the break from the command center gives Hux time to go over the reports that he had pushed to a lower priority on his list. He picks up his other datapad before taking a seat in the office inside his personal quarters. He thumbs through the reports, organizing their priority status again before he realizes that he hasn't reviewed the battle reports since he was put in charge here.

Reviewing these had never been a part of his role as General. If anything of note was located in them, it would be forwarded to him or Phasma would tell him personally. However, it was his program that developed the soldiers that fought these battles. It was his simulations that prepared them for the worst possible scenario. So he always found an edge of pride in reading about positive outcomes. They felt like validation without all the dramatics of a ceremony.

He is several reports in when he decides to open a bottle of brandy and turn music on to kill the silence. Complete quiet had always kept him on edge since he was a child. He frowns at the liquor cabinet. He is positive he had more bottles in here the last time he had looked. He pulls the last bottle of brandy out and sends a note to Mitaka to resupply the supply as soon as possible. He grabs a clean glass from his pantry before walking over to his personal control panel. Hux lets out a small smile as he surveys the room around him.

His quarters are impeccably clean and clutter free. There are a few medals, books, and manuals on the thin shelves above the liquor cabinet but nothing too heavy or distracting to the eye. He can practically feel the tension from the day melting from his shoulders as he turns on the music. He stands there with his now full glass and watches the sound waves project into the room. Electronic lines always seem to give him such comfort. Which reminds him.

"Sorry, darling. I know I should have let you out sooner. I've just been so busy." Hux doesn't even acknowledge that if anyone was in the same room now, they would see that he is simply speaking to the air. But that wasn't completely true. Hux inserts the small data drive that he keeps in his pocket into one of the available ports.

The hologram that is produced is the very first one he created. She is modeled off the orange tabby cat that his mother owned. Hux could hardly remember what his mother’s face looked but his memories of Millicent were crystal clear. As soon as his hands could get ahold of the equipment, he had created her as a hologram when he was still very young. She looked much more lifelike now after numerous upgrades. Her fur seems like it might even be soft to the touch. It fooled Hux from time to time. Late at night, when he had too much brandy in his system, and found himself trying to pet her while asking where his mum was.

The memory is almost too jarring for him to shake off at first. But he has work to do. With his glass nearly half gone, he goes back to the battlefield reports. He catches Millicent playing with the sound waves as she meanders around his quarters. The first thirty or so reports are standard and Hux finds that his sadness from earlier isn't being overpowered by his soldiers' brave actions. He quickly sorts them into their usual subfolder and goes hunting for something more feeling inducing to read.

_Alpha Encryption: Knights of Ren Training Mission_

Well, that certainly does it. The feeling Hux gets is one of anger though. It hadn’t even been a day cycle before Kylo Ren and his Knights arrived on Starkiller Base for a 'training mission'. Hux had felt like a toddler who had his favorite toy taken away right after he had just opened the box. The Supreme Leader had thought that it would be an excellent place for the Knights to use as their home base during a new type of training mission. Hux had bit down so hard on the inside of his cheek to keep from sending a harsh remark the Supreme Leader's way that he had to spit out several mouthfuls of blood in the closest sink he could find after their leader had disappeared.

Hux opened the report out of spite, hoping that some type of craft had malfunctioned horrifically and they were all dead. His eyes skimmed the report greedily but found nothing of the sort. He was about to delete it when he saw a word that caught his attention.

_Monster._

Hux frowned and took another drink of his brandy as he read on.

_The young recruits did well for the majority of the training exercise. Of course, they were no match for the Knights and Lord Ren, but their simulation training against force users was clearly beneficial. However, during the middle of the mission, something went wrong. A trooper and one of the knights seemed to disagree and order began to disappear. What happened next was difficult to describe but from my own account and those that I interviewed, Lord Ren must have used the force to make us all believe that he could shift into a terrifying monster, twice the man’s size with a mouth full of massive, sharp teeth. This projection then snapped an unknown trooper in half._

_None of the simulations that we have experienced prepared us for this and I could not regain order over my squadron. Before we are sent to accompany the Knights of Ren again, I would like to request additional simulations that would better suit our needs for this type of a situation._ _The trooper that experienced the mauling during the mission is now missing in action. I fear more troopers will react this way without further training to deal with this type of scenario._

Hux stares down at the report in disbelief. Why in the world would Ren use his magic for a training mission? He knows that Hux would not have prepared them for something like that. These men wouldn’t be facing monstrous shape-shifters that tried to eat them. What was he playing at? Was he trying to show that Hux’s training simulations didn’t accurately prepare the troopers for battle? He seemed to enjoy causing Hux to explain his every decision and this seemed like another way to undermine his authority.

Hux began going through other battle reports. He searches for all battle reports dealing with the Knights of Ren. Most of them read just like every other report, but every few reports have descriptions that sound familiar. All of these reports are alpha encrypted, only those with the highest of security clearances can access them. Ren and his magical band of misfits seemed to be running their own battlefield simulations by the look of it. This must be the new training mission that the Supreme Leader wanted them to execute on Starkiller Base. Hux needed to know if more of his soldiers were going to be experience the knights' magic show as well.

“Systems off,” Hux announces causing his room to power down. He swallows the last few drops of his brandy. He knows where Ren is currently, the knight had sent word that he would be in his chambers for the rest of the night cycle. Whatever his plans were for this cycle, Hux was about to ruin them. Just as Ren had ruined his evening. He normally tried to avoid the knight unless necessary but his desire to know what was happening had to be quenched as soon as possible. 

Now after the first rank was added to Armitage Hux's officer's coat, he swore to himself that he would never hesitate again. His childhood had been marred by numerous types of anxiets that always found him second-guessing himself. He spent his days over analyzing each action he took and the nights strategizing ways to further himself. All eyes seemed to be on him constantly and they were evaluating his every performance. So he made sure that his accent was perfect, his marksmanship was record-breaking, and his school work was exceptional. This need for absolute perfection came from a place of pride.

Also, fear.

It was that same nauseating fear that had him hesitating outside the personal quarters of Kylo Ren.

Hux had heard the wild whispers that came back from the battlefield before. However, he always thought it was pointless boasting that did nothing to further the Order's mission. He had tried to crack down on any prideful conversations after battle, but Phasma informed him that it was important for morale. Hux never understood why anyone would need more motivation than the Order's ultimate goal but some people had a tighter grip on how war should be run. Of course, he would never admit that he wasn’t always up to the task of understanding proper battle strategy.

However, the stories of Kylo's prowess during battle were not whispers in the dark hallways like others. These were spoken of openly with clear layers of fear and awe. Hux would have written them off as pure propaganda but now he was beginning to think otherwise. Then again, during all of those after-battle talks, not a single soldier had mentioned anything about Kylo looking other-worldly. 

Usually the Knights of Ren did not require additional manpower. However, for the common soldier who was able to return after fighting alongside them, they had the attention of the entire crew until their stories sounded so exaggerated that no one believed them anymore. Hux had even waited for several hours on the flight deck for Phasma to return from a mission with the knights to find out what it was really like to fight alongside Lord Ren, only to have her speak in strange cryptic riddles just to annoy him for weeks.

Well, Hux was going to get to the bottom of it now. If Ren and his knights were going to be doing their strange training exercises on _his_ base, then as acting commander, Hux had a right to know what exactly he was supposed to be dealing with.

Hux's gloved fingers hover over the control pad to Ren’s quarters as his mind flips through the countless accounts of battle that read more like scary stories to frighten children than actual war reports. Certain lines stuck out in his memory.

_Lord Ren seemed to grow to twice his size before he attacked the next group of enemies._

 

_When I came to report to Lord Ren, there was blood running down his neck from under his helmet and I asked him if he needed medical attention. He reported that "No, we are very comfortable." I have never seen a more powerful leader. I will follow him wherever he wishes to lead me._

 

_Can you please send this report to General Hux because I am concerned for not only my own safety, but for my fellow troopers. I fear that Lord Ren is not....stable._

 

The doors to Ren's quarters open suddenly, nearly causing Hux to step back if his body wasn't so rigid. He fully expects to come face to face with that stupid mask, but there is no one standing there.

"Ren?" Hux asks, his voice steady despite the unease he feels crawling up his spine.

Silence passes for several moments before Hux refuses to hesitate again and steps into the chambers. The doors shut behind him in the way that they did in those holo-vids his fellow Academy cadets would watch as Hux tried to memorize galactic policies.

The click from the heels of his boots as he walks around the quarters echo against the impossibly quiet walls. It seems as if no one is here. He pushes away the knowledge that the doors shouldn't open and close without authorization. He’d designed this entire place after all. Maybe they were broken. Ren had more than likely done something stupid, like thrown a chair at the door, and now it was malfunctioning.

A rattling sound seems to cause the entire room to vibrate. Hux catches his balance against a table due to his knees feeling as if they were made of sand.

"Ren?" he calls again.

The vibrating stops and it is eerily silent once more. Hux lets out a frustrated noise as he turns on his heel to leave. This had to be one of Ren's pointless magic tricks. He did think he was _oh so clever_.

Doors are opening suddenly. This time, they sound different, as if coming from somewhere deep in the core of the base. Hux turns to see that there are now doors open behind him, revealing a meditation chamber. That was definitely _not_ in his architectural plans. Hux instantly wants to demand when Ren had authorized this room but the sight before him stops the words on his tongue.

Ren is levitating in the middle of the room, mask off, eyes closed. His large cowl and robes are gone, leaving him in only a black tunic and trousers.

The sight seems so intimate and personal that Hux feels as if all the blood has left his body and pooled in his boots. He has never seen Lord Ren without his mask but the soft face and bare feet leave Hux grasping for his next action.

From the actual descriptions he had heard about Kylo Ren, he only assumed he was disfigured. He did have a mess of black hair as was talked about among his troops, but his skin was free of any kind of blemishes, let alone scarred.

Hux could not see his eyes, but he was sure they were not made of flames or that his teeth were long and pointed. This was not the monster he had envisioned as his own personal nemesis. His face spoke of being several years younger than Hux. It was incredible and absolutely infuriating. Hux had thought that he was no match for Lord Ren in physicality or experience. That was clearly false. He could best him easily.

"I see why you wear the mask now." Hux announces, back straight, head high.

Ren did not move. His focused face didn't falter for an moment. Hux frowned deeply. "I _said_ , I see why you wear the mask now."

Nothing. Hux's temper flares even stronger. How dare Ren think he could just ignore him? He was clearly playing some sort of game.

"Honestly," Hux huffs. He stomps over to Ren's hovering form and places his hands on his shoulders, shoving harshly as to push him over. The satisfaction of Ren flailing as he tries to stop himself from falling would give Hux the upper hand that he wants so desperately.

Instead, Hux finds himself pushed against the wall of the meditation chamber by what looks to be a large, black mass that seems to be pulsing in various places. Hux opens his mouth to yell but the mass splits apart and wraps itself around his mouth. He kicks then, his survival instructs are second to none, but it is no use.

So he prepares himself for a fight, furious that he had fallen for whatever little trap Ren had set for him.

But a blow never comes, instead the mass holds Hux there as it rights Ren back to his meditation position, his face still completely impassive. Hux tries to yell behind the pulsing mass but it is easily muffled. However, Ren’s face twitches slightly. In turn, the entire room begins to vibrate like before. Hux frowns, his mind working quickly. This mass must be a part of Ren because it was reacting to him. Hux didn’t know all there was to know about force users, but he was fairly confident that he would have remembered something about large, disgusting forms reacting to outside stimuli in his studies.

Before Hux can begin to form a plan of attack, Ren’s eyes open. The mass disappears inside his body almost instantly as he stands up. Hux catches himself awkwardly but still manages not to crumble into an undignified ball on the ground once he is dropped.

“What is going on?” Ren asks, frowning deeply as he looks around.

“I was about to ask you that question.” Hux counters, standing up quickly. “What was that? It felt real. I don’t believe it was one of your mind tricks. Am I to believe that you are not using mind tricks during your training exercises? That you are using something much more lethal?”

Ren stares at him, biting down on his inner cheek before narrowing his eyes at Hux. “I don’t have to explain anything to you.”

“I created this structure. It is my design. My creation. I am the commanding officer and am in charge of every life that steps foot here. They are under my orders and my protection. Now, you will tell me what I just saw.”

“You do not command us.” Ren’s voice takes on a slightly deeper tone.

“While you and the Knights of Ren are here, I may not command you but I am who you are going to get all of your supplies, weaponry, ships, engineers, support squadrons, --”

“Alright, I understand.” Ren sighs, rolling his eyes hard.

“Well?” Hux demands.

Ren frowns. “What?”

“Well, what was that thing?” Hux demands, waving his hand dramatically around the meditation chamber as if to make it appear again.

Ren’s eyebrows raise up slightly as if he is surprised by this question. It makes Hux want to punch him. The room begins to vibrate again and a smirk slowly begins to form on Ren’s lips.

“I honestly cannot wait until you need something from me for your knights, Ren. I will tell them about how you enjoyed shaking the walls of your quarters like some sort of spoiled child but I simply asked a question.” Hux growls.

Ren’s face seems to shift, Hux is almost positive that it was a different face entirely but it’s gone in an instant. “He has a point.”

Hux frowns, opens his mouth to ask who has a point but he knows Ren is referring to him. This behavior was very concerning, Hux considers mentioning it to the Supreme Leader but that would more than likely end with Hux being even more angry.

“So, I’m waiting.” Hux says, all but tapping his boot on the floor out of impatience.

“His name is Kylo, he’s --” Ren begins.

“Oh you _must_ be joking.” Hux all but sputters in fury. “I don’t have time for this.”

“I don’t take the needs of my Knights or our mission lightly, General. I would not be telling you this unless I had no other choice and you certainly made it clear that I didn’t.”

Hux crosses and uncrosses his arms a few time before finally saying. “Isn’t your name Kylo?”

“It is now. That’s our name.”

Hux feels as if he’s been in a bacta tank for several days. He shakes his head as if to get rid of all the imaginary fluid. “Our?”

“Kylo is a symbiote. I know you don’t know what --”

“I’ve heard of them, like a parasite that feeds on force users.” Hux replies and the room begins to vibrate again. _Ah, so it was Kylo who was doing that….Wait, of course it was Kylo._ Hux sighs.

“No, they seek out force users because they can bond with them easier. It’s a beneficial relationship. It’s...complicated.”

“And I’m just supposed to not worry about your …..attachment?” Hux questions.

“No, I’ve been bonded to Kylo since I was very young, we are --”

“It tried to kill me and I can only assume it has killed others.” Hux interrupts.

“Well, you were going to disturb my meditation. Kylo's very protective of me.”  

Hux opens his mouth to say something again but hesitates. He’d lost count how many times he had rethought his words after walking into Ren's chambers. “So I am just supposed to let Kylo or… you have free reign on my base? I will not stand idly by Ren. If you--”

Ren only rolls his eyes again. "Savee the theatrics for your troops, General." 

Behind him, Hux can hear the door to Ren's quarters opening in an open invitation to leave. "This conversation isn't finish, Ren." 

"We're aware."

Hux doesn't feel as if has won this argument but unfortunately, he has no other ammunition. His knowledge of symbiotes is limited at best. He cuts his loses for the evening, staring at Kylo's impossibly young face one last time before leaving. Now, he needs to find out everything he can so when the time presents itself, he will be able to use what he's learned against the Kylo Ren. 

**Author's Note:**

> I figure there are going to be several Venom AUs as more people watch the movie and I couldn't help sharing my own. Hope you enjoy it!


End file.
